Sam's Salacious Dishes

Thought up by the mastermind chef himself, while we were spitting a couple of grouse (grouses?) over the fire.

Tuna Casserole
Ingredients:
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of celery soup
half bag of egg noodles
1 lrg yellow onion
enough celery for 3/2 ratio to onion
2 cloves garlic
1 tbsp butter and veggie oil
1/2 cup miracle whip (to taste)
tsp. thyme
1/2 cup milk
1 cup frozen peas
2 cans tuna
3/4 cup bread crumbs
tsp margarine
pinch cayenne pepper

cooking:
mince onion/celery in lrg. saute pan w/ butter and oil until nearly cooked through
add minced garlic and cayenne, continue saute
while boiling egg noodles
reduce heat to low: add soup, tuna, peas, salt and peppr, milk to taste
add egg noodles
melt margarine and sprinkle bread crumbs on top

Bake at 350 degrees until bread crumbs are golden brown.

Sam's Sexy Suprise

Ingredients:
1 12oz. pkg. chorizo sausage
1 lrg yellow onion
2 cloves garlic
1 can diced tomatoes with green chilis
1 cup white rice
beef bullion

Cooking:
in a fairly ig pot with a tight ass lid (just writing down what ws told to me)
add sausage and onion, then sauteed garlic
when done add rice, sautee for a moment, then add tomatoes
cook until there's no waer left*

*Sam's side tip: serve with buttered french bread for extra deliciousness

Jambalaya
Ingredients:
1 cup minced onion/g. pepper/celery
1 clove garlic
1 cup white rice
1 can tomato sauce
12oz. of chicken
pinch cayenne
creole seasoning to taste
1 bay leaf
file powder (just a smidge)

Cooking:
sautee the trinity in oil, add garlic later
add tomato sauce, water
add everything else, save the file powder for a little coup de grace

Cuban Marinade
(good with pork!)

Ingredients:
1 juiced sour orange
2 juiced limes
6-8 minced cloves of garlic
1 tablespoon of cumin
enough olive oil to fill out marinade
1 lrg red diced onion

Floutas
Ingredients:
2lbs chicken or beef
1 sliced yellow onion
1 lrg clove of garlic
salt
enough water to cover

Cooking:
Add all of above , then bring to a boil, reduce to simmer until meat shreads easily
then shred it and set aside

Part Dos!
Ingredients:
1 med minced yellow onion
1 lrg clove of garlic
12-20 corn tortillas
1 cup tomoto sauce
cumin to taste

cooking:
saitee onion and garlic in oil
add tomato sauce, cumin, salt and pep, then the contents of the other pot and simmer until little water left
while simmering cook the corn tortillas in oil for roughly 5-6 seconds each side
put mixture into corn tortilla
roll into a flute
cook in 1/2 in. of oil

8/2/08 - Idaho

Sitting on a porch, shirtless in the afternoon sun, drinking a Pabst with Sam while we look words up in the dictionary in the middle of nowhere Idaho with a forest fire burning just two miles north of us. I think this needs to be written down. Just another check off the ol' life to-do list.

The salmon run's going on right now (along with fire season) down in Chamberlain Creek, so Sam, Dave and I went hoggin' last night to see if we could catch one. Hoggin', for those unfamiliar, is the art of using your hands to catch a fish. Sam mastered the technique right away, and taught me the ropes, shocked that I'd never heard of it. Who hasn't heard of Salmon hogging, right? "The trick is to get one hand 'round the base of their tail fin just so, and move your other hand slowly up their stomach, rubbin' 'em a little to calm 'em down, then when you get to their gills-" he interrupted himself with a fierce uppercut clamp maneuver, demonstrating his hand inside the gills of the fish, and making a fist, essentially tearing out the throat. "And, then you just gotta keep 'em from floppin' or jus' toss 'em on the bank." he said nonchalantly.

Sam caught one first, heaving it onto the bank with such force that he ripped on of its gills, then roughly a half hour later Dave got one a little smaller. Both were absolutely huge females, plump with eggs that ran out onto the counter when they were gutted. They were 10 lbs. each, Sam's being 32in. and Dave's 30in. They're sitting in the stove right now, wrapped in tin foil with some lemon pepper and salt, while we're out on the porch so the smell won't drive our stomachs crazy.

As for my salmon catching experience, I'd like to say I got one, but a true fisherman might refute my story. I got my hands on a huge female that Dave spotted, which we agreed later was the biggest we saw. It got away from me when I went for the death grip under the gills, leading us to a dense tree jam in the creek where at least four were hiding. I was still intent on getting the big girl, and finally got into a position where I, after rubbing her belly for a time, calmed her down to the point where I could get a firm grip on her gills. Clamping down to the slimy creature I got the beast fully out of the water, when she really started thrashing. I lost my footing, and the fish slipped out of my hands, nearly missed hitter her head on a log, and left only a swirl of silt as she hit the water and bolted off down the river.

We ended up finding her later after a search, but she was wary, and chomped at us through the dense underbrush, looking possessed, or just thoroughly irritated. Dave nearly got it on shore at one point, but by the time we hiked back to the station with growling stomachs she was the one that got away.

I think it's time to put the dictionary down and focus on eating some hand-caught salmon and drinking a few more of these PBR's. I killed a ground squirrel today with a piece of firewood. I saw the life drain from a salmon's eyes. The stars are beautiful out here, but there isn't much climbing.

7/27/07 - Idaho

Day 4 of 10. Camped at Moose Meadows.

I just finished Poe's short story "A Tale of Ragged Mountains," that could have easily been based where we're camped tonight. Situated on the edge of an expansive Y-shaped meadow, watching the sun drop lazily, flirting with the tree line. Shirtless, I can feel the air easing through the meadow, through the trees, to our camp. Dinner's on the pot, and Sam and Dave have taken to the breeze as well, all three of our sweat and salt stained shirts hanging from a branch. Sam's legs must have felt left out, because he's stripped down to nothing but his underwear. My mouth cracks a smile without telling me as I watch him hunch over the pot attending it like a mother would a sick child. "It's gotta be perfectly seasoned he says," as I complain to him about the rumblings in my gut. "Have I ever let you down?" he shoots a look with a spoon to his mouth, testing the broth. I agree that he hasn't, and wait, looking every so often at my empty bowl. I finished Crime and Punishment, which left a strong impression, I'll probably start it again this hitch. It's hard to imagine being completely moral-free to the point where you've convinced that burying an axe into an old woman's head is not only wrong, but actually doing the world good. Anyway enough of that, dinner smells ready, and the sun's nearly out of sight.

The Dew

Sopping steps, frantic walking,
It's only to myself I'm talking,
While the sun neglects its mopping,
of the morning's endless dew.

Thoughts have hardened , thoughts have clustered,
In unison they say,
"With all the strength your feet can muster!"
The dew it steady, heavy, and it's
Keeping you at bay.

Blistered, aching, laced up tightly,
In these boots my feet are bound.
The dew is patient, persistent, unhurried,
Burdening footsteps pound by pound.

It's funny what a nine mile hike in heavy dew does you the brain. We were all miserable, hungry, and soaked by the time we got back to Chamberlain. We were in a valley for the majority of it, so the sun couldn't reach us (or the dew), and to top it off we spent around 45 minutes taking turns sawing through a massive Ponderosa pine in the middle of the trail. We were due for a mail drop when we got back, which didn't come due to visibility (fire season's begun, blanketing the entire area with a grey haze). The thought of this dew keeping me from mail was too much.