"Freedom, Sancho, is one of the most precious gifts bestowed by heaven on man; No treasures that the Earth contains or the sea conceals can compare with it; For freedom, as for honor, men can and should risk their lives, and in contrast captivity is the worst evil that can befall them."
-Don Quixote
Freedom is an open road ahead of us. It's Derek's birthday again, twenty-one years old. This time last year we ended a five-country tour of Europe at breakneck speed on his birthday, in Amsterdam, celebrating with a half stale chocolate croissant and a sunset on a dirty dock. Tonight the celebrations were muted. A beer in an airport, bursts of laughter and nervous last minute planning. The talk of people with more on their mind.
Tonight a new question mark hovers over the group. A domestic question mark, a familiar unknown, like the pitch black in your own house. This is my country. This is Lance, Derek and Tyler's country. It's the sum of all the bullshit fractions of heritages make up. I am an American mutt free of attachments. Here under safe covers and soft lights for months at a time, only imagining the missed exits and gas stations, and locals with accents and deep set wrinkles, the wrinkles that a place really works into the skin over the years. A few bags with everything we own, carrying our lives around. The chaos of two oceans, connected by eager stream, dotted with placid lakes and easy people. Mountains and giant steaks. Smiles and a constantly half empty stomach.
We are hungry, with a lot to chew come morning. A big 10,000+ miles bite to gobble up and taste slowly, to nibble and examine subtly. Spit out, swallow,crave, and digest.
Shake it up some, make the tongue bleed! I want a stupid grin and some scars to prove it. Grease in the hair so thick it oozes down with the sweat. A burnt nose that never fully heals.
Images swirling around the true question here under my safe sheets. It's all a self-righteous rant, talking about things like I have something to teach while the honest sliver in me screams out in shitless fear. I'm taking this trip at an unstable time in my life. A time where i can see the foggy outline of things going either way. Staying in school, getting a job that makes everyone proud and in turn makes me a socially acceptable boring old man. There's something else there too, something that all this bravado can not even hide.
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